The Little Things
As a kid, I had it all planned out. Graduate at 20, get a job afterward, establish a business by 24, get married at 25, and have a kid two or three years after.
But here I am, 26, and sharing a bed with my dog. Don’t get me wrong; she’s my bundle of joy.
I remember the crippling fear of not being able to accomplish all of my goals before I turn 30. I feel like I’m living with the pressure of being an overachiever. The stress was so intense that my back hurt, and I know it wasn’t just because of bad posture. Back then, I always focused on the “big goals” and being a “big shot” in the publishing industry. I’ve always thought getting a dream job, a big house or lots of money to splurge would make me the happiest.
But I guess being an adult means accepting that things don’t always work out the way I plan them.
More than six years after I graduated, I haven’t gotten all of my “big dreams”. But I’ve found the little things that bring me joy, things that I took for granted before.
Friends tagging me in a tweet/post/throwback photo
I don’t know about you, but I love mentions and tags. It warms my heart when friends, especially those I’m not with most of the time, say a quote or photo reminds them of me. Also, I love a little bit of nostalgia every now and then.
Paying my bills on time
I was LITERALLY a struggling writer who lived with her parents when I was younger. I might’ve missed a couple of insurance and installment dues. I couldn’t even help my parents pay the electricity bill.
Now, I still live with my parents. But we (my brother and I) now help them pay their bills and more. And that gives me a sense of purpose as the eldest daughter of an Asian household.
Buying dinner for my parents
Not only we can help my mom and dad financially. We’re even able to occasionally dine out and order dinner takeouts (thank you, FoodPanda and GrabFood).
Next goal: treat them to meals in nice restaurants!
Waiting for a K-pop merch to arrive and unboxing them
Ah, yes. The joy of “your parcel is out for delivery.” If I have any luxury in life, it would be K-pop albums, photo cards, and light sticks. They give me something to look forward to.
As of writing, my Caratbong will be delivered to me weeks from now. Well, not that I would be able to use it for Be The Sun concert (trigger warning for myself). But let’s save this for another long form so I can completely ~heal~ and find closure. ‘Di naman masaket.
Walking alone
But not during the night, of course!
I get off work every 4 pm. My WFH station a.k.a. my grandma’s house, has about a 15-minute walking distance from my home. Instead of hailing a tricycle, I prefer walking home when the weather’s fine. It gives me time to think about, well, nothing. Just me and my empty thoughts, and somehow, that gives me peace — something that’s hard to find these days.
Praying and answered prayers
It’s always been a habit to pray and read the Bible before I go to sleep (I might’ve missed a night or two from time to time, though). I love to pray for people, even more so when I hear how God answers these prayers.
I make sure to express my gratitude. I have God to thank that I was able to reach this point in my life. Everything I have and can do is all because of Him after all.
Writing
I’ve been writing for a living since 2017. Before, there was a nagging feeling that I would burn out from doing this thing that I love. I was afraid that writing would be an obligation, not a form of my expression.
Thankfully, writing still gives me joy.
Still gives me an escape.
Still gives me hope.
As I get older, I learn to appreciate and savor the “little things” and the fleeting moments, knowing I can’t always recreate or bring them back. I still focus on my goals, but that does not mean I should keep myself from enjoying what I have now.
The mountain’s high, but I’ve come a long way. There’s still more to go, but I can allow myself to enjoy the view from time to time, right?
As I reflect, these are some of the questions I ask myself:
Am I at my destination? Probably not.
Am I where I am supposed to be? Definitely.
Have I achieved all of my dreams? Not yet
Am I happy? More than glad.
And right now, that’s more than enough.
