A year past the quarter life

At 26, I had an airplane ride for the first time
It’s nerve-wracking, ear-popping, stomach-wrenching
The launch made me say a word of prayer or two
Had the urge to hold my seat mate’s hand out of the blue

I got to see what floating above the clouds meant
The sun rays peeking through cotton-like whites look like heaven
As I gazed upon them through my plane window
I was convinced that I was hit with a Cupid’s bow

At 26, I got to wear a two-piece swimsuit for the first time
Nothing grand, just a high-waisted bottom with a halter top
It’s still quite conservative, but showed a good amount of skin
I wore it with hesitation and an embarrassed grin

Never took any pictures but the feeling’s imprinted on my mind
It was scary but liberating, it was worth it and definitely life-changing
The feeling of water directly on my skin and face
Felt like euphoria and it lasted for days

At 26, I got a guitar for the first time
I was hesitant because I don’t think I can play
Never considered myself as musically-inclined
Learning this stringed instrument felt like a far-fetched goal
Never had the courage to strum, much less to rock and roll

But there I was, watching tutorial after tutorial, playing chord after chord
My fingers are having a hard time developing muscle memory
I haven’t learned anything except an imperfect A and E
I’d be lying if I say it does not frustrate me

But I still have the hope that I will learn to sync
My fingers to the strum and beat
My heart to music, my voice to my soul
Let the melody make me lose control

At 26, I thought I’ll have it all figured out
But here I am, having all the firsts I could never imagine
The plane ride, the guitar, the bikini
They are all new, all so foreign, all so unlike me

At 26, I thought I’ll have it all figured out
But my head is still messier than my home office table
My thoughts more tangled than my earphone cable
Take a look inside my mind, you’ll find everything scrambled

I’m still exploring many places and spaces
I’m still making mistakes
I’m still learning
I’m still running the race

Breaking down, but breaking through
Breaking up with ugly habits and breaking whatever barrier
Each day, each time, each try, I’m trying to be better

At 26, I thought I’ll have it all figured out but there’s a process
At 26, I’ve also learned to accept that I’m a work in progress
I am not perfect, just a person that sometimes comes undone
But you know what I found out? That’s just perfectly and totally fine